Friday, August 21, 2015

I Am Offended

Speaking (er, typing) on behalf of those of us who self-identify as Operating Rods (personal pronoun of choice being "You mother*&%^$%^!!!!!") I am deeply, gravely and perhaps even gustationally offended by someone I thought was more sensitive - nay - someone whom was a pal, a friend, a fellow who wouldn't steal towels at the beach while everyone else was in the water. In other words, Michael Bane (a wolf in self identified Llama's clothing!).

In this post Mr. Bane perpetuates the Direct Impingement Supremacy (Hereon after referred to as DIS) propaganda with the following hurtful words strung together as if to form a sentence of pain and entitlement:

"...the AR-15 platform carbine, which should of course be the first long gun purchase."

There it is. Bold and brazen for all to see. A first long gun purchase should never be some dirty, ill used, socially irrelevant thing with a piston on it. Oh nooo, why that would just  upset the social order and cause people to whisper loudly at the theater now wouldn't it? But it gets worse...

In this post he continues his unabashed DIS'ing and in this one, the micro-aggressive macro-aggressions are enough to offend your offensibilities! To wit:

"We also got so see a bunch of new products for the AR platform…they are every bit as thoughtful and well-designed as the rifle itself."

See that? His subtle implication is not just that the AR platform is well designed (a contention that those of us around here would dispute if we weren't so sensitive to other people's feelings!) but that any and all piston involved firearms are thus inferior, brutish, of sub-standard comprehension capability and should be sent off to reeducation scrap metal camps! Oh, how we have been DIS'ed!

It gets worse. In that last linked bit of hurt and woe and DIS, he links favorably to a piece entitled "If You Only Had One 5.56 Carbine", wherein the gentle reader is shocked to find these words:

" And yes, trust us on this: you really want an AR, not an AK or G3 clone or Valmet or AUG or Tavor."

See? The DIS is not hidden or subtle or even deftly concealed in an Eastern Barbecue sandwich - it's right there in the open for all to see and be viscerally injured by!

Yet it gets even worse. Michael Bane Felabeorbt unleashes more DIS in this post, wherein he intones the chant of:

"Black Rifles Matter!"

Mr. Bane? Michael? Felabeorbt? Don't Brown Rifles Matter too?

Can we live in a world where all Gas Operated Reloading methods - Direct Impingement, Long Stroke, Short Stroke and even Gas Traps - get along? Can we have a conversation about the validity of the variety of Gas Systems available? Can we just celebrate diversity? As long as Direct Impingement Supremacy continues to repress us, I fear the answer is no.

Oh, the pain of being DIS'ed! Oh, the emotional trauma of being treated like we're Children of a Lesser Gunsmith!

As a result of these tetra-aggressions I have become not merely offended, but More Offended Than Thou (which consequently makes me eligible for a Senate seat in New York state or tenure at CU Boulder, possibly both...). Now if you will excuse me, after all these emotional blitzkriegs I really need to go hug a Garand. Or two.

1 comment:

dittybopper said...

As someone who is a fan of John Moses Browning's long recoil system, as used in the great Remington Model 8, I am offended by your exclusionary post.