Publicola

Ne Quid Nimis calls for a unified effort from English majors to put an end to really bad metaphors. Some examples are given:

"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."

"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30."

"Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center."

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."

"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."